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In 1980, he said, only 6 percent of adults over 35 years old had never married.In 1988, 8.7 percent of people of that age were single.A PSYCHOLOGIST who studies the hearts and minds of confirmed bachelors over the age of 40 has advice for women who want to marry one: Forget it."If you get involved with a never-married middle-aged man, don't expect him to change," said Dr. Waehler, a psychologist at the University of Akron in Ohio who studied a group of white, heterosexual bachelors 40 to 50 years old.By staying single, the bachelors prevent these defense mechanisms from being challenged, he said.Many never-married men are deeply satisfied with their lives as they practice these defenses, Dr. But others are miserable and would like to change but do not know how.Waehler said, and he placed them in three categories keyed to their degree of contentment or misery.
Most of the men said they had had at least one serious relationship with a woman that included sex and a warm sense of companionship, Dr. Yet they were extremely uncomfortable in talking about sex, he said, and exhibited hesitancy and passivity about their sexuality.
These men had few close friends but were not distressed about it.
They showed little desire for social involvement, accepted their single status without complaint and were satisfied with themselves and their lives.
The bachelors seemed standoffish and indifferent to anxiety-producing events.
Third, they tended to give unique interpretations in Rorschach tests, he said, and their perceptions were not very accurate, indicating strong individualism and unrealistic thinking.