Dating makes you want to die

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When your confused and desperate friends ask you for dating advice, you make references to your last ex (you know, the one from three years ago). You are the go-to person when someone needs help moving into a new apartment or needs someone to post bail. Sure, at your age, most of the good men and women are already snatched up by people more together than you, andyou're not getting better—you're just getting older. Let's look at a few characteristics that define who you are and what's horribly, horribly wrong with you—and show you how to fix them.

He Says/ She Says Should you hate yourself for being single? Somehow we've all been programmed to believe that if you haven't already gotten married on a Disney cruise, popped out two children by thirty, live in a subdivision, and plan all-inclusive vacations to Mexico, where the only exotic people you meet are from Idaho (you've never met anyone from Idaho before! Well, okay, so your mother probably thinks there is something wrong with you—but that doesn't mean you should. Single women have everything going for them—there is a world of possibility ahead of them.

A fortress unto itself : the single -- First contact with an alien gender -- The first date -- The third date -- We are in love (maybe) -- Meeting the parents : it's go time!

-- The break-up option : "it's not me, it's you, and your erectile dysfunction" -- The death of romance (or how I learned to stop worrying and love paying half as much rent) -- Going to the chapel. It's all speed dating, matchmaking terror, and visits to your therapist.

Six months later, he would ask her father for her hand and just like that, they lived happily ever after. It's all terror, loneliness, and visits to your therapist.

Whether it's the mortification, frustration, or just plain exhaustion that's got you ready to give up on love, this book is here to help.

Dating Makes You Want to Die (But You Have to Do it Anyway) By Daniel Holloway, Dorothy Robinson In more innocent times, courtship was a simpler affair.

An earnest boy would come over to "call," and he and the young, dainty miss would sit on the front porch and hold hands.

Some sanity-keeping tips include: Chapter One A Fortress Unto Itself: The Single You do not let someone else dictate your happiness. You tell anyone who will listen that you're deliriously happy.

You can't remember the last time you changed your sheets.

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