I had to learn from every encounter and the encounters of my fellow sisters. One thing I learned from dating “the brothers” is that many of them feel as though dating me is a badge of some form of consciousness and mental elevation. Around my sophomore year in high school there was this stereotype that light skinned girls were “Hollywood,” they “‘didn't text back “ and we're extremely high maintenance in their relationships.They feel as though dating me means they're not shallow like other guys and that they are above the Eurocentric beauty standard conditioning. Soon enough, more people began showing love publicly to us of darker skin.They thought by calling me chocolate, and African Queen that they would compensate for all the other things they were lacking.I feel like all women go through this, especially women of color.
The “ugly duckling” has gone through a transformation but my melanin still pops severely and that has made my romance life very interesting.
Often times their rationale behind that was because they wanted “foreign looking babies”.
They wanted women who had a fairer complexion, with finer hair and lighter eyes so when the game of genetics was complete their daughters would look more like their mother than their fathers.
When I was dating guys outside of my race that was a whole other mess. I could come over to the house and hang but not meet the family.
These men fetishized my skin and black girl features in private, but didn't value me enough to involve me in their public lives.